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Suffering through a constant wave of depression right now.
Everything’s going to fall apart when I graduate so I really don’t want to make it that far.
I’m sorry. I know I’m just being a pest at this point.
That moment when you’re suppose to be miffed at someone but then HOLY JESUS, DO HUMANS GO INTO SEXUAL HEATS?! SOMEONE FUCK ME. HOLY FUCK. BODY, WHY MUST YOU DO THIS NOW?
For those that know me, I have a memory of a goldfish. Probably worse then a goldfish, actually.
So I thought that it would be good for me to write down what I do remember with Lucifer. He’s probably one of the first people that actually remember everything from the small details to the larger big pictures with and a ton of people I know in real life would tell you that is different for me.
I would like to inform everyone that I am in love.
Also I can’t feel my legs. I’m never ever ever ever ever having sex again until tomorrow. Although those conditions can be negotiated, of course.
You know you love someone when you suddenly find yourself with six tabs open to temporary pain relief options after remembering that they’ve been having knee pain due to a past injury a lot lately.
Of course, this may also be slightly influenced by the fact that you threatened to kick them in said knee the other night because you were pissed at them.
Only slightly.
Template of explanation:
Alright, first of all, I am going into this fully aware that I am a stubborn idiot who’s in love.
Secondly, I sent out posts and messages to many of those receiving this template explaining that I wanted nothing to do with Peter after having been dragged through 8 months of a kept quiet relationship with him that made me feel like I was being used while he waited for a girl he loves who is currently unattainable and living thousands of miles away. It was true, he was doing that, but he was also suppressing feelings for me and treating me badly on purpose because he thought he should wait for her.
He unexpectedly knocked on my door at 2 am on March 17th to tell me that she told him not to wait for her and to move on. I must thank Ethan, whether you know him or not, for saying that I should bring up my point of view on how I thought Peter was hurting himself by waiting for the slim chance to be with this girl for so long. I think that opened his eyes, even though we were fighting, and helped him realize what was happening.
He said that he never once lied about liking spending time with me and that he was willing to stop himself from blocking out what he felt about me. And I’m willing to trust him and give him another chance. I’m going to forgive him and not forget, but at the same time give him a clean slate with me.
Thirdly, if you are one of the people I have complained to, asked advice from, and generally just annoyed with my constant back and forth with Peter, I’m sorry and thank you so much for putting up with me. Yes, I know I’m an idiot, but so is Peter so I guess we make a good pair.
Specific questions and free passes to call me a lovestruck idiot go after the end of this message, which would be here. Thank you for reading this explanation.
A - If I’m in love.
B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.
C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.
D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.
E - How many holes I have in my ears.
F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’
G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.
H - The last person I hugged.
I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.
J - How old I am.
K- What my full name is.
L - If I have siblings.
M - If I forgive betrayal.
N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.
O - If I like my school.
P - What kind of music I like.
Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.
R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.
S - 2 habits.
T- 5 things I love unconditionally.
U - How many texts I send daily.
V - 3 big dreams.
W - An idol.
X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.
Y - If I like my town and why.
Z - Ask any question you want.
I’m an idiot and got back together with Lucifer again!
It’s a long story…
